One of the advantages of living a purposeless life with no significant accomplishments is that you never have to worry about being put on a celebrity deathwatch list.
The other day, I stumbled across a web site called The Old Blue Eyes Memorial Celebrity Death Watch (http://www.flymetothetomb.com/), which is devoted to morbid speculation about which celebrities are going to die in the coming year.
The way this works, sometime before Dec. 31, individuals or teams put together lists of 13 celebrities who they believe are likely to die in the coming year, plus one alternate name, in case one of the celebrities proves ineligible, as did Chemical Ali Hassan al-Majid, the Iraqi terrorist whose death date was predetermined by his sentence to be executed for various crimes against humanity.
To be eligible, a celebrity has to be alive on Jan. 1 of the coming year. So far, an individual or team operating under the name of "The Dirty Death List" has the lead, with two successful end-of-life predictions occurring in January: Miep Gies, the 100-year-old Dutch woman who helped hide Anne Frank and her family from the Nazis, and J.D. Salinger, the reclusive author of "The Catcher in the Rye." Another celebrity death successful predicted by other teams is that of Zelda Rubinstein, the small actress who memorably played a psychic in the 1981 horror film "Poltergeist."
This is a game for people with rarefied tastes and somewhat black senses of humor, which are reflected in some of the team names. My personal favorites include "Gone with the Worms," "Out with the Old" (everyone on the list is in their 90s or higher), and "Bye George, Take 2" (everybody on the list is named George, as in Beverly Shea, McGovern, Bush Sr., Maharis, Steinbrenner, Jones, well, you get the idea).
Obviously, some celebrity deaths are easier to predict than others. With the average human lifespan, regardless of nationality, race or gender, averaging about 67.2 years, one can figure that anyone born before 1920 is a safe bet. So if you made up a list of nonagenarians and centenarians, you would be playing safe. Miep Gies was probably a lucky bet for those who put her name on their lists.
Likewise, if you read lots of celebrity biographical articles on Wikipedia, you might have found out that in late December, Zelda Rubinstein went into a coma after a long illness, and it would seem likely that she would not have long to live.
Last year, safe bets would have been Sen. Edward Kennedy, an elderly political figure who was public about living with brain cancer, as were younger celebrity actors Patrick Swayze and Farrah Fawcett, with different forms of cancer.
The top predictions this year are mostly safe bets --- people in their 80s and 90s and older --- and I'll list them further down with some of my own predictions. But I did find some interesting predictions of the pending demises of younger celebrities --- actress Lindsay Lohan, who will be 24 this year, got several votes, presumably because of her well-publicized substance abuse problems. British singer Amy Winehouse, just three years older than Lohan, also is predicted to be on death's short list, presumably because of respiratory problems related to drug use and smoking.
On the other hand, someone who predicted Michael Jackson's unexpected death or that of TV pitchman Billy Mays, would be regarded as a daring player, willing to take risks.
Also of note are a number of nominations for conservative TV radio voice Rush Limbaugh, at 59 (the same age as me), a little young for such morbid expectations, although he has had a number of health problems in recent years that, combined with his wide girth, could possibly be considered for shortened life expectancy. Or it could just be wishful thinking on the part of some of his detractors.
The top 13 nominations for this year's celebrity death watch list are:
1. Kirk Douglas, age 93, the American actor and film producer recognized for his prominent cleft chin, his gravelly voice and his recurring roles as the kinds of characters Douglas himself once described as "sons of bitches", including lead roles in "Lust for Life" and "Spartacus." In 1996, he suffered a stroke, partially impairing his ability to speak. Douglas blogs regularly on his MySpace account, making him the oldest celebrity blogger.
2. Rev. Billy Graham, age 91, the American evangelist who has been a spiritual adviser to multiple U.S. presidents. He is a Southern Baptist.[2][3] He rose to celebrity status as his sermons were broadcast on radio and television. On August 18, 2007, Graham, 88, was in fair condition in Mission Health & Hospitals in Asheville after undergoing treatment for intestinal bleeding, but his condition was not life-threatening.
3. Fidel Castro, age 83, one of the primary leaders of the Cuban Revolution, the Prime Minister of Cuba from February 1959 to December 1976, and then the President of the Council of State of Cuba until his resignation from the office in February 2008. He is currently the First Secretary of the Communist Party of Cuba. On January 16, 2007, the Spanish newspaper, El País, reported Castro was having trouble cicatrizing, after three failed operations and complications from an intestinal infection caused by a severe case of diverticulitis. In mid-February 2007, the AP reported Castro's health was improving and he was taking part in all important issues facing the government. On April 13, 2007, the AP reported Castro as "almost totally recovered" from his illness. As a comment on Castro’s recovery, U.S. President George W. Bush said: "One day the good Lord will take Fidel Castro away," Hearing about this, Castro, an atheist, ironically replied: "Now I understand why I survived Bush's plans and the plans of other presidents who ordered my assassination: the good Lord protected me." In January 2009 Castro asked Cubans not to worry about his lack of recent news columns, his failing health, and not to be disturbed by his future death.
4. Betty Ford, age 91, widow of former U.S. President Gerald R. Ford and former First Lady from 1974 to 1977. As first lady, Betty Ford was active in social policy and shattered precedents as a politically active presidential wife. In the opinion of several historians, Mrs. Ford had more impact upon history and culture than her husband. Poor health and increasing frailty due to operations in August 2006 and April 2007 for blood clots in her legs have caused her to largely curtail her public life.
5. Art Linkletter, 97, the Canadian-American radio and television personality and the former host of two long-running U.S. television shows: "House Party", which ran on CBS radio and television for 25 years, and "People Are Funny", on NBC radio-TV for 19 years. Linkletter was famous for interviewing children on "House Party" and "Kids Say the Darndest Things", which led to a successful series of books quoting children. In early 2008, Linkletter suffered a mild stroke.
6. Zsa Zsa Gabor, 93, also known as Sári Prinzessin von Anhalt, is a Hungarian-American actress, much-married socialite and former beauty queen. On July 7, 2005, she suffered a massive stroke, leaving her in critical condition at a local hospital. She underwent surgery to remove a blockage in her carotid artery. She returned home on July 15. In early September 2007, she underwent surgery to deal with after-effects of her previous stroke. On September 18, 2007, aged 90, she underwent surgery to treat a leg infection, which developed as a result of her immobility.
7. John Wooden, 99, retired American basketball coach. He is a member of the Basketball Hall of Fame as both a player (class of 1961) and as a coach (class of 1973). He was the first person ever enshrined in both categories. His 10 NCAA National Championships in a 12 year period while at UCLA are unmatched by any other college basketball coach. In 2006, Wooden spent three days in a Los Angeles hospital receiving treatment for diverticulitis. He was hospitalized again in 2007 for bleeding in the colon. Wooden was hospitalized in 2008 after a spill in his home caused him to fall. Wooden broke his left wrist and his collarbone in the fall, but remained in good condition according to his daughter and was given around-the-clock supervision. In February 2009 he was hospitalized for four weeks with pneumonia.
8. Harry Morgan, 94, American actor best known as Colonel Sherman T. Potter on "M*A*S*H" (1975-83), Pete Porter on both "Pete and Gladys" (1960-62) and "December Bride" (1954-1959), Detective Bill Gannon on "Dragnet" (1967-70), and Amos Coogan on "Hec Ramsey" (1972-74). He has appeared in more than 100 films. His son Charles reported when his father was 89, "his mobility was quite limited."
9. Robert Byrd, 92, the senior U.S. Senator from West Virginia, and a member and former Senate Leader of the Democratic Party. Byrd has been a Senator since January 3, 1959, and is the longest-serving Senator as well as the longest-serving member in congressional history. He is also the oldest current member of the Congress, and is the first person to serve uninterrupted for half a century as a U.S. senator. In 2008, Byrd was admitted to Walter Reed Army Medical Center for observation following a fall at his home. Byrd attended Senate sessions the same day, but complained of pain and his aides asked him to see the Capitol physician before he went to the hospital. Byrd stayed in the hospital for four days; no broken bones were found. On January 20, 2009, Senator Ted Kennedy suffered a seizure during Barack Obama's inaugural luncheon and was taken away in an ambulance. Byrd, seated at the same table, grew emotional over his colleague's continuing seizures and was himself removed to his office.[70] Byrd's office reported that he was fine. On May 18, 2009, it was reported that Byrd had been admitted to the hospital due to a staphylococcal infection.
10. Ariel Sharon, age 81, Israeli former Prime Minister and general. Sharon served as Prime Minister from March 2001 until April 2006. In December 2005, Sharon was sent to Hadassah Medical Center after suffering a mild stroke. In January 2006, Sharon suffered a second, far more serious stroke at his Sycamore Ranch in the Negev region. After two extensive surgeries, Sharon was placed on a ventilator and some reports suggested that he was suffering from paralysis in his lower body, while others said he was still fighting for his life. He was placed in an induced coma and his Prime Ministerial duties were handed over to his deputy, Ehud Olmert. In May 2006, Sharon was transferred from the hospital in Jerusalem to a long-term care unit of the Sheba Medical Center in Tel HaShomer, a large civilian and military hospital. Ha'aretz reported that this move was an indication that Sharon's doctors did not expect him to emerge from his coma in the foreseeable future. In 23 July 2006, CNN reported that Sharon's condition was deteriorating and his kidney function was worsening. In August 2006 doctors reported that Sharon's condition worsened significantly and that he was suffering from pneumonia in both lungs. Sharon has remained in a long-term care centre since 6 November 2006. Medical experts have indicated that Sharon's cognitive abilities were destroyed by the massive stroke, and that he is in a persistent vegetative state with slim chances of regaining consciousness. In October 2009 his doctor reported that he is still comatose but in a stable condition. In 2010, it was reported that he now weighs about 50 kilograms.
11. Dick Clark, 80, American businessman, game-show host, and radio and television personality. He served as chairman and chief executive officer of Dick Clark Productions, which he has sold part of in recent years. He is best known for hosting long-running television shows such as "American Bandstand", five versions of the game show "Pyramid", and "Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve". In 2003, it was revealed that Clark had Type 2 diabetes, and on December 8, 2004, he was hospitalized in Los Angeles after suffering what was initially termed a minor stroke. On December 13, 2004, it was announced that Clark would be unable to host his annual New Year's Rockin' Eve broadcast, that had aired for all but one year since 1972. On December 31, 2005, Clark made his return to television, returning to the Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve broadcast, having noticeable difficulty speaking, slurring his famous countdown to the new year. During the program, Clark remained behind a desk, and was shown only in limited segments. On-air, he said, "Last year I had a stroke. It left me in bad shape. I had to teach myself how to walk and talk again. It's been a long, hard fight. My speech is not perfect but I'm getting there." Reaction to Clark's appearance was mixed, reported CNN.com. While some TV critics felt he was not in good enough shape to do the broadcast, stroke survivors and many of Clark's fans praised him for being a role model for people dealing with post-stroke recovery. For the ABC New Year's Eve 2007–08, 2008–09 and 2009-2010 appearances, Clark still exhibited noticeably slurred and somewhat breathless speech (which appear to be permanent).
12. Mitch Miller, 98, an American musician, singer, conductor, record producer, and record company executive. He was one of the most influential figures in American popular music during the 1950s and early 1960s, both as the head of Artists & Repertoire at Columbia Records and as a best-selling recording artist. Some regard Miller as the creator of what would become karaoke with his NBC-TV series, Sing Along with Mitch. Miller currently resides in New York City and continues to be a guest-conductor for many renowned orchestras. He is considered to be in good health for his age.
13. Elizabeth Taylor, age 77, Anglo-American actress known for her acting skills and beauty, as well as her Hollywood lifestyle, including many marriages. Taylor is considered one of the great actresses of Hollywood's golden years, as well as a larger-than-life celebrity. Her films include "National Velvet," "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" and "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" She also is known for her opulent lifestyle and work with AIDS charities. In November 2004, Taylor announced that she had been diagnosed with congestive heart failure, a progressive condition in which the heart is too weak to pump sufficient blood throughout the body, particularly to the lower extremities: the ankles and feet. She has broken her back five times, had both her hips replaced, survived a benign brain tumor operation, skin cancer, and has faced life-threatening bouts with pneumonia twice. She is reclusive and sometimes fails to make scheduled appearances due to illness or other personal reasons. She now uses a wheelchair and when asked about it she said that she has osteoporosis and was born with scoliosis.
Alternate No. 1: Nancy Davis Reagan, age 88, widow of former United States President Ronald Reagan and served as an influential First Lady of the United States from 1981 to 1989. She also was a B-movie actress in the 1950s. Nancy Reagan's health and well being became a prominent concern in 2008. In February she suffered a fall at her Bel Air home and was taken to St. John's Health Center in Santa Monica, California. Doctors reported that she did not break a hip as feared and she was released from the hospital two days later.
In October 2008, Reagan was admitted to Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center after having fallen at home; doctors determined that the 87-year-old had fractured her pelvis and sacrum and could recuperate at home with a regimen of physical therapy.[165] As a result of her mishap, medical articles were published containing information on how to prevent falls. In January 2009, Reagan was said to be "improving every day and starting to get out more and more
Alternate No. 2: Dolores Reade Hope, age 100, singer, philanthropist and the widow of actor Bob Hope. In the 1940s, Dolores began helping Bob on his tours entertaining U.S. troops overseas and she would continue to do so for over 50 years. In 1990, she was the only female entertainer allowed to perform in Saudi Arabia. On October 21, 2008, she was rushed to St. Joseph's Hospital in Burbank, California after suffering a suspected stroke. In a statement released by her publicist, Dolores Hope spent less than four hours at the hospital where she underwent routine testing.
I was too late to vote in this year's predictions. The lists are due by Dec. 31 of the previous year, so I will just follow along and if it holds my interest, I'll don my Ghost of Christmas Future disguise sometime in December and make my choices. I did make up a list of those celebs whose deaths I WOULD have predicted. Here it is, divided into five categories:
GROUP ONE: Obvious Choices
1. Kirk Douglas
2. Gloria Stuart
3. J.D. Salinger, replaced by Luise Rainer
I'm hoping Kirk Douglas will prove me wrong, because he's a feisty old bastard and I like the idea that he's out there blogging on MySpace, which I don't subscribe to because its owned by Rupert Murdoch's corporation. But Douglas is number one on my list, just the same. The years he's lived since his stroke are just gravy for a wonderful life of creative genius.
Gloria Stuart, age 99, is an American actress. During a Hollywood career that has spanned more than 70 years, Stuart appeared on stage, in television and film, and is best known for her roles as Claude Rains' sweetheart in "The Invisible Man" and as the 100-year-old Rose in her Academy Award-nominated role as Old Rose in the film "Titanic." Stuart seems to be as healthy as a near-centenarian can be, but how long, as Celine Dion might sing, can her heart go on?
I would have picked J.D. Salinger as a possible obvious choice because he turned 91 on Jan. 1. Salinger was an American author, best known for his 1951 novel The Catcher in the Rye, as well as his reclusive nature. His last original published work was in 1965; he gave his last interview in 1980. Salinger died of natural causes at his home in New Hampshire on January 27, 2010. Salinger's literary representative commented to The New York Times that the writer had broken his hip in May 2009, but that "his health had been excellent until a rather sudden decline after the new year." The representative believed that Salinger's death was not a painful one.
With Salinger gone, I picked Luise Rainer, who turned 100 on Jan. 12, a nearly forgotten German film actress, the first woman to win two Academy Awards, and the first person to win them back to back, for Best Actress in "The Great Ziegfeld" and "The Good Earth" in 1936 and 1937, respectively. However, she would later remark that by winning two consecutive Oscars, "nothing worse could have happened to me", as audience expectations from then on would be too high to fulfill. She was then given parts in a string of unimportant movies, leading MGM and Rainer to became disappointed, and she ended her brief 3-year career in films, soon returning to Europe. Some film historians consider her the "most extreme case of an Oscar victim in Hollywood mythology". She currently lives in London, where she, like Gloria Stuart, is in relative good health for her age, but time is against her lasting much longer.
GROUP TWO: SERIOUS ILLNESSES
1. Zsa Zsa Gabor
2. Eli Wallach
3. Stephen Hawking
It's tempting to put Ariel Sharon in this group, because of his vegetative coma, but I thought Zsa Zsa Gabor, the last of the Gabor sisters and with whom I share a birthday, might be headed to the last premiere this year.
Eli Wallach, age 94, an American film, television and stage actor from the 1950s and 1960s who has been in failing health in recent years. Wallach gained fame in the late 1950s. For his performance in "Baby Doll" he won a BAFTA Award for Best Newcomer and a Golden Globe nomination. One of his most famous roles is that of Tuco in "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly". Wallach was always a good supporting player --- my favorite role of his in in "The Misfits," the last film of Clark Gable and Marilyn Monroe, and one of the last of Montgomery Clift and Thelma Ritter. Wallach is the only survivor of the film. Wallach lost sight in his left eye as the result of a stroke. According to his autobiography the incident occurred "some years ago".
Stephen William Hawking, age 68, is a British theoretical physicist, whose world-renowned scientific career spans over 40 years. His books and public appearances have made him an academic celebrity and he is an Honorary Fellow of the Royal Society of Arts, a lifetime member of the Pontifical Academy of Sciences, and in 2009 was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest civilian award in the United States. Part of his celebrity comes from serious physical health issues. Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by motor neuron disease also known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (or ALS). Hawking's illness is markedly different from typical ALS in the fact that his form of ALS would make for the most protracted case ever documented. A survival for more than 10 years after diagnosis is uncommon for ALS; the longest documented durations are 32 and 39 years and these cases were termed benign because of the lack of the typical progressive course. On 20 April 2009, Cambridge University released a statement saying that Hawking was "very ill" with a chest infection, and was admitted to Addenbrooke's Hospital.[33][34] The following day, it was reported that his new condition is "comfortable" and he should make a full recovery from the infection. In 2009, Investor's Business Daily (IBD) claimed in an editorial, "People such as scientist Stephen Hawking wouldn't have a chance in the UK, where the National Health Service would say the life of this brilliant man, because of his physical handicaps, is essentially worthless." This caused widespread criticism, as Hawking has in fact lived and worked in the UK his entire life and has relied extensively on NHS treatments. Hawking personally replied that, "I wouldn't be here today if it were not for the NHS," he said. "I have received a large amount of high-quality treatment without which I would not have survived." Eventually, IBD issued a correction, but continued to defend the original editorial, calling the mention of Hawking a "bad example" and accusing those that mentioned their error of "chang[ing] the subject."
WILD CARDS
1. Elizabeth Taylor
2. Jack Kevorkian
3. Mike Wallace
With Elizabeth Taylor, it's hard to say how much of the concern over her chronic illnesses is tabloid media hype and how much is real. When you consider how long actresses such as Luise Rainer and Gloria Stuart have lived, Taylor seems relatively young to be considered for a Death Watch. She certainly has lived more than a cat's nine lives. But I decided to include her "just in case" this is the year.
Jack Kevorkian, 81, is an American pathologist, right-to-die activist, painter, composer, and instrumentalist. He is most noted for publicly championing a terminal patient's right to die via physician-assisted suicide; he claims to have assisted at least 130 patients to that end. He famously said that "dying is not a crime." Between 1999 and 2007, Kevorkian served eight years of a 10-to-25-year prison sentence for second-degree murder. He was released on parole on June 1, 2006, due to good behavior. Terminally ill with Hepatitis C, which he contracted while doing research on blood transfusions in Vietnam, Kevorkian was expected to die within a year in May 2006. After applying for a pardon, parole, or commutation by the parole board and Governor Jennifer Granholm, he was paroled on June 1, 2007, due to good behavior. He had only spent 8 years and 2 1/2 months behind bars rather than the predicted 10–25 years.
Mike Wallace, age 91, is an American journalist, former game show and media personality. Wallace has been a correspondent for CBS' "60 Minutes" since its debut in 1968. During his 50+ year career, he has interviewed a wide range of prominent newsmakers, including Deng Xiaoping, Jiang Zemin, Mohammad Reza Shah Pahlavi, Ayatollah Khomeini, Kurt Waldheim, Yasser Arafat, Menachem Begin, Anwar Sadat, Manuel Noriega, Jeffrey Wigand, Ayn Rand, Aldous Huxley, John F. Nash, Vladimir Putin, Salvador Dalí, Bette Davis and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Wallace retired as a regular full-time correspondent in 2006 but still appears frequently on the "60 Minutes" series. I included Wallace on my "wild card" list because he suffered from major clinical depression triggered by accusations of libel and a related lawsuit. He has been treated by a psychiatrist and has taken different medications. As someone who also lives with clinical depression is a physical illness that triggers emotional symptoms, I know that it can put him at risk for other illnesses, especially in the aftermath of retirement.
I CAN'T EVEN GET THE BLUES NO MORE
1. Jack Kevorkian
2. Ronnie Biggs
3. J.D. Salinger, replaced by Kim Jong-Il
There are some celebrities whose deaths won't be worth shedding tears over.
Jack Kevorkian's one. In some ways, I admire him for promoting the concept of allowing a person to choose when their life ends, especially in cases of terminal illnesses. On the other hand, there was something just plain creepy about the way he promoted his assisted suicides and the carnival atmosphere that surrounded the persons who chose to exit via his death machines negated the concept of "death with dignity."
Ronnie Biggs, age 80, is an English criminal, known for his role in the Great Train Robbery of 1963, for his escape from prison in 1965, for living as a fugitive for 36 years and for his various publicity stunts while in exile. In 2001, he voluntarily returned to the United Kingdom and spent several years in prison, where his health rapidly declined. In November 2001, Biggs petitioned Governor Hynd of HMP Belmarsh for early release on compassionate grounds based on his poor health. He had been treated four times at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital, Woolwich in less than six months. His health was deteriorating rapidly and he asked to be released into the care of his son for his remaining days. The application was denied. In August 2005, it was reported that Biggs had contracted MRSA. His representatives, seeking for his release on grounds of compassion, said that their client's death was likely to be imminent. In July 2007, Biggs was moved from Belmarsh prison to Norwich prison on compassionate grounds. In December 2007, Biggs issued a further appeal, from Norwich prison, asking to be released from jail to die with his family. In January 2009, after a series of strokes that were said to have rendered him unable to speak or walk, it was claimed in the press that Biggs was to be released in August 2009 and would die a 'free man' Biggs was released from custody on 6 August, the day before his 80th birthday, on 'compassionate grounds'. Following his release from prison, Biggs's health improved, leading to suggestions that he might soon be moved from hospital to a nursing home. In response to claims that Biggs's state of health had been faked, his lawyer stated, "This man is going to die, there is going to be no Lazarus coming back from the dead, he is ill, he is seriously ill." However, Biggs himself stated, "I've got a bit of living to do yet. I might even surprise them all by lasting until Christmas, that would be fantastic."
Kim Jong-il, age 68, is the Supreme Leader[2] of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea (also known as North Korea). He is the Chairman of the National Defense Commission, Supreme Commander of the Korean People's Army, and General Secretary of the Workers' Party of Korea (the ruling party since 1948). He succeeded his father Kim Il-sung, founder of North Korea, who died in 1994, and commands the fourth largest standing army in the world. North Korea officially refers to him as the "Dear Leader" and the "Great Leader". He's also a big pain in the ass for the U.S. government, with constant threats of nuclear testing on his agenda. In November 2008, Japan's TBS TV network reported that Kim had suffered a second stroke in October, which "affected the movement of his left arm and leg and also his ability to speak." However, South Korea's intelligence agency rejected this report. In response to the rumors regarding Kim's health and supposed loss of power, in April 2009, North Korea released a video showing Kim visiting factories and other places around the country between November and December 2008. In July 2009, it was reported that Kim may be suffering from pancreatic cancer.
DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOODNIGHT
1. Peter Falk
2. Betty Ford
3. Phyllis Diller
These are the ones that will really hurt when they go --- IF they go this year. Hopefully they will not. Kirk Douglas, Gloria Stuart and Elizabeth Taylor could easily be on this list, but I've chose these three, all for sentimental reasons.
Peter Falk, age 82, is an American actor best known for his role as Lieutenant Columbo in the television series "Columbo." He appeared in numerous films and television guest roles, and has been nominated for an Academy Award twice, and won the Emmy Award on five occasions and the Golden Globe award once. I first remember seeing Falk as a wise-guy cab driver in "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World," and have enjoyed him in many performances, but none so much as Lt. Columbo, the cop who was smart enough to play dumb until he caught the killer. Sadly, In December 2008, it was reported that his daughter claimed that Falk was suffering from Alzheimer's Disease and dementia.
Betty Ford was one of America's great first ladies. She spoke her mind --- often when her opinion conflicted with her more conservative husband and made Gerald Ford seem like a better person because Betty loved him. When she had breast cancer, she spoke openly about getting a mastectomy. And when her family confronted her about her growing dependence on prescription drugs, she admitted she had a problem, got help, and then founded the Betty Ford Clinic. She taught the country that every family has a some unpleasant secrets --- and the way to get help for them is to address them honestly and openly.
And finally, the last person on my list is a lady who is sane enough to play crazy and I hope she proves me wrong on this year's Death Watch list.
Phyllis Diller, age 92, is an American actress and comedienne, considered[citation needed] one of the pioneers of female stand-up comedy. She created a stage persona of a wild-haired, eccentrically-dressed housewife who makes jokes about a fictional[citation needed] husband named "Fang" while smoking from a long cigarette holder. Diller is credited with opening the doors of stand-up comedy to women. I used to play one of her records, "Are You Ready for Phyllis Diller?" over and over again, never tiring of her tales about her cheapskate husband Fang who bought a thousand pounds of steel wool "so he could knit her a Volkswagen." Or The Ugly Woman Downstairs who made the mistake of TASTING Phyllis' Thanksgiving turkey. Or "The Food and Drug Idiots" who tested her pudding (because one of them was stuck in it) and discovered it was bullet proof. Diller has suffered medical problems, including a heart attack in 1999. After a hospital stay she was fitted with a pacemaker and released. A bad fall resulted in her being hospitalized for tests on her head and pacemaker in 2005. In July 2007, USA Today reported that she fractured her back and had to cancel a Tonight Show appearance, during which she had planned to celebrate her 90th birthday.
How to end this? The answer is from Porky Pig, who provided the late voice artist Mel Blanc with his cemetery marker epitaph:
"That's all, folks."
